A relationship might start with fancy meals, jewellery and other over-priced romantic gestures, but when they end we’re suddenly not so giving with our money and property. Graham recommends getting things in writing sooner rather than later.
Money may not be the topic of conversation of choice at the start of a relationship but it certainly takes up a large chunk of discussions when relationships end.
For those who are still on marriage number one, you may never have had this experience. I, therefore, will share my tips for new players …
And we need to frame this conversation in according to New Zealand law, which states that once you’ve been living together for three years, all property where you are both living is split 50/50 if you decide to breakup.
The way to avoid this is to contract out of this 50/50 split via a Relationship Property Agreement, which you draft with the help of friendly lawyers.
Here are the key points to remember in these conversations. I have written these with the help of my partner Rebecca who I am currently having this conversation with. You will see my thoughts ending with (G) and, obviously, Rebecca's ending with (R).
1. Start this conversation earlier rather than later in the relationship. Not on the first date, but certainly well before you start combining furniture and arguing who is going to put what on Trade Me. (G)
2. Keep emotion out of it and treat it like a business conversation. (R)
3. Do worry about it and get it done. (R)
4. Talk to your friends, especially those who have already been separated. (R)
5. Don't talk to her friends, but do talk to your lawyer who will have facts and not hurtful opinions. (G)
6. Start with wine! (G)
7. Remember that you can change your mind and alter the agreement. (R)
8. Keep on talking. Make notes and email each other. (G)
9. Define the date when the relationship started. (R)
10. Remember to have the same date. (G)
11. ... We are now revisiting and agreeing on the date …
To be continued.
Graham Goodisson is a Registered Financial Adviser with Velocity Financial. No investment decision should be taken based on the information in this blog alone. A disclosure statement is available free of charge upon request.